Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
