Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
