wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
