You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
