...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why didn't you poke me back
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What a dumb baby whore.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
