It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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