I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
