i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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