Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize