the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
