True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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