i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
