This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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