got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
