I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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