Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
