just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
