So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
