once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Who died my cat blue again?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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