I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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