so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
