We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
BRING THE BAGELS
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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