Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
