Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
