I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
