Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
