please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
