try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
