I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You made out with two different species that night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
