what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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