someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
