dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
