she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
