New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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