can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize