Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
