check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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