After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
