FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
