We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
