I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
