How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish you could order shots online.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
