PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
bring money and cleavage
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
