thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
