Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
