Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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