a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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