literally had 100 drinks last night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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