I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We need to rekindle our bromance
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
