handjob tips. give me some.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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