i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
