Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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