Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
