I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
