shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
